I attribute my sianness today from reading The RAPE of NANKING. The way Iris Chang wrote it from so many different perspective brought me through many angles, be it the jap, chinese or foreigners. As mentioned before, this book is really sad. I actually took so long to digest it. Currently stuck at chapter 4 out of 10. Its not the difficulty of the read but rather the information being presented. Can understand why the mainlanders hate the Japs so much now as I go through that passage of the past events. I realised that half the time I was frowning and could feel myself lapsing into moments of sadness for those people at that time as I read.
Though I kinda hated the then Japanese for what they had done, I felt sad for one of them though - Matsui Iwane. Think he is the only one so far to earn abit of my respect. This man though the enemy believe in the rules of war. He doesnt avocate cruelty but infact peace for those who surrenders. He was the only one upon arrival, did the killings and rapings subside. Though everyone tried to hide the facts from him, he eventually found out of the atrocities that his men has committed. He even felt dismay and 愧欠 to the grief that they had brought upon nanking citizens. This man is the only Japanese to ever go against such babaric actions and incurring the wrath of his own commarades. Salutez for now cos I have yet to finish reading.
Felt the sadness and 无助 of the then general Tang incharge of defending and protecting Nanking. Imagine him seeing his own people falling in massive numbers and being killed in the most torturous ways is really too hard to bear. In his final attempt to protect the city, he was ordered to retreat and to abandon his troops. This I supposed was one of the toughest decision that any general will hate to be put through liao. Never a day as dark as that..
Its hard for me to describe why it is so saddening, shocking and emotion stirring as I read this book cos my ang mo is powderful. But now I can understand why the author of this book ended her life after writing it. Do read up yourself. =P