Sometimes when things starts to come to you suddenly, you run. This time, I'm just choosing to face it. If there's anything to prioritise at this time, I must say its my grandparents. As much as I hate to think of it this way, there's a chance that my beloved grandma will leave me soon. The only thing I could do now is to be by her side as much as I can.
Suddenly, you see yourself doing what may deem silly in the past. Chionging down to the temple and selfishly request that the goddess will do anything in her means to retain her on this earthly tour even if it means to shorten my own lifespan. Willing myself to believe that things will go all well and soon she'll be up. Holding her still very warm hands by the bed watching with trepidation each time her heart beat goes beyond 150 and then instantly fluactuates back to 100 then 80. Heart skipping everytime the alarm by her bed beeps. People sure learn to treasure when they are about to lose huh. I'm so fan jian.
Seeing her starting to state her will, asking A to do this, B to do that and C to help safekeep her heirlooms to be passed down upon her death just makes me wanna cry. Despite the fact that she tells me she wishes to see me get married, she has already prepared all her granddaughters' 嫁妆 just in case.
Grandpa's been crying secretly. I see the frail him and wondered how much have he understood her condition. He's also going blind in one eyes himself and supposed to be getting treatment for it. No doubt he is seriously a nag really and I understand why grandma can get so pissed when he does that. To others, he may seem to be one that cannot be relied on, I see him as a doting husband that never fails to be there for his wife in her woes though she may not appreciate it.
Ah ma... I also wish you can see me get married ah... Please hold on for me can...